The first question really ought to be, “Where the hell have you been?”
I’d certainly deserve it. After all, it’s only been a month… Well, almost a month. I could share a bucket filled with excuses: “I’ve been busy… Had other deadlines to deal with… Had a business to run… Was busy feeling sorry for myself… Was busy feeling sorry for others!”
I could do that… All of those excuses are equally valid and pretty much useless. Sure, I’ve been getting up earlier and working later, I’ve been involved in chaos: some contrived and some visited upon me by others. But, the truth of the matter is simple enough to understand, and that is until tonight I just couldn’t find the strength or the inspiration to even visit this part of my life. I’ve been frustrated, angry and upset and no one needs to listen to that. Or, at least that’s the way I’ve felt up until today.
The worst part of not showing up was and still is the guilt! Even though writing a blog is elective: something you choose to do, it still brings with it a responsibility… a responsibility to communicate, and not just when you feel like it. Anyone can communicate when the mood strikes or they feel compelled to. A blog is the commitment to show up even when you don’t feel like it.
In any case, I’m here now and that may just have to do. Why? Because, something miraculous just happened! Someone I haven’t heard from in years, someone I have thought of often and fondly, just left a message on an earlier blog post. Someone I went to High School with and I graduated High School almost fifty years ago!
Has that happened to you yet… Someone you’ve thought about, wondered about, even looked for – maybe, not aggressively or in earnest. But, someone you tried to ‘search’ here or there without success. Suddenly, I was sitting in the Shakey’s Pizza parlor that used to be at Fairfax and San Vicente (Or, was it Olympic?) waiting for all hell to break loose. I was back in High School – not among the most pleasant memories I drag around with me – and hanging out with my buddies: the Breakfast Club, our breakfast club, before there was a movie. And, maybe that’s what it takes to get you writing again (Actually, I never stop writing… I just failed to stop by and write something here!).
In any case, I’m back now and ready to get back to it. To what? To the business of life and living. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it: What has happened in the past… What is happening right now… And, what is likely to occur in the future.
Just another way of saying the present is the past of the future, I guess.